OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
