Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
