If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
