You're so nebulous sometimes
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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