Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
