I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize