i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
