This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
