my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i was born a porn star she said
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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