just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
