I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
