Jerry, you need to find god
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize