It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Randomize
