i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
