somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
