Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize