this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
