so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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