it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
