Heybabeimwearingurpanties
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
