Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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