the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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