I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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