I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
