I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
