it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
