I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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