no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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