Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize