Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
