Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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