remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
