How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
