It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
