Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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