I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize