The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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