I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
