Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
