I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
