'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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