his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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