upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
