Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
