Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
