There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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