Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
if only i could text you this smell
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
