no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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