AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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