I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
