At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize