She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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