I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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