The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize