Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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