Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
