i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize