K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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