So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
