so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
