I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
