Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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