You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
