well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
