Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
