oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
