No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
