dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
