i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
