Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
