brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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